Friday, September 4, 2009

Woah, Hello There A$$

Who's ready for a three day weekend!!!!!
Guess who's stoked for a three day weekend??!!
Time to Paaaarrrr-ttaaayyyy :)
(or, in my case, time to run a 14 miler!)
((That counts as a party, right?))

Well, you are probably wondering why I am talking about a$$es so early in the morning. It's because I am strangely attracted to butts, for the last couple of times I've been at the gym, I've been noticing some wacky people. Now I am a fairly open minded person and I try very hard not to be judgmental. Esp at the gym, of all places. I mean, hey, at least they are working out, right?

I present to you: Top 5 wacky gym patrons

(Please note that I use the word wacky as a euphemism for "annoying as heck")

(also note, please don't get too offended! )

1) "Let me see that thong".....

I know the gym isn't a place to be concerned about fashion/looks, etc. You're there to work up a sweat. I get it. I wear old t-shirts and mismatching socks to the gym. It's hard enough to even get to the gym. But PLEEEEAAAASSSEEE. If you are gonna wear Skintight spandex, please wear a thong, or at least some seamless underwear! I find it extremely distracting to continue ellipticalling when you bend down to stretch, thrust your a$$ up in my face, and I have nothing to stare at except the expanse of panty lines BULGING out from underneath your skintight shorts. Oh man. I mean, if you're Adrianna Lima or Doutzen Kroes (hello, girl crush!), MAYYYBE you could pull off that look. Every one else, let's try to remember Stacey's tip from What Not to Wear: No visible panty lines! This applies to the gym as well, in my opinion.

2) This isn't the Ritz Carlton lounge pool....

I guess this isn't obvious to some people, but the pool at the GYM, that has LANES, and people doing LAPS in them, is meant for SWIMMING. It's not a place to flaunt your newest skanky bikini find, show off your gigantor expensive sunglasses, dip your toes in the water, and try to use the kickboard without getting your hair wet. Esp when people are waiting to get into a lane to swim. I'm sure the lifeguards at the Ritz would love to drool over your designer bikinis.

3)Deodorant, what's that?

This one's self explanatory. I'm sure we've all encountered the person sweating away on the elliptical. The smell is so toxic it is not humanly safe to step within 6 feet from this person. You are forced to find another elliptical in the oppostite corner of the gym, and drats, this one doesn't come with a TV attachment. Modern technology is amazing. A little underarm care can go a loooooong way. I mean, I'm fine if you like the smell of your own BO and all. If that's what you're into, that's cool. Just don't expect me to partake in your enjoyment. I really don't want to join in on your BO party. If you're gonna be in a public space, please just swipe on some of that Old Spice. Heck, if you don't even want to invest in a whole bottle of deo, you can buy trial sizes at the grocery store for 99 cents. Seriously. Do you really want to be remembered at your gym as "that guy"?

4) Step away from that cell phone
Really? Really? Are you really going to talk on the cell phone on the treadmill/stationary bike/elliptical? Really?

5) That really fit, pretty, strong girl who looks great in her shorts.
Gahhhhh. You make me soooo jealous!!!! lol.

I hope I wasn't too mean! But surely, I'm not the only one who has encountered these wacky people? Or is my gym some sort of mecca for body odor loving, bikini clad cell phone talkers?

So I guess you can tell what I've been doing for the last couple of days: weights and swimming. Both fairly standard, uneventful workouts. I was able to increase the weights I use for some of my workouts, so I am happy that I am getting stronger.

I hope everyone has a GREEEAAATTT weekend filled with running, good company, some rest, and some yummy grub! And if you are in the mood for a good laugh, visit THIS website. It is phenomenal. Trust me. You will not regret it :)

Cheers, everyone!


  1. Ah the old person on the cell phone at the gym thing. I am not going to lie. I was once that person. But just once I swear! It was an important phone call. Shameful I know.

    You list was awesome btw. I love a list!

    Have a great weekend!

  2. LOL! Those are the exact 5 reasons that I only go to the gym in small doeses. I goo for a month or so then get fed up with all that silliness!

  3. OMG, hubs just emailed me that website yesterday. TOOOO funny.

    Okay, I will confess, I am probably guilty of number one. I just can't do thongs. I also don't wear skin tight spandex at the gym, so maybe I'm okay... lol

    Cell phones drive me CRAZY! You can go an hour without your cell attached to your ear? COME ON!

    have a great weekend, Julia!!!

  4. LOL! Great way to start my Friday. Thanks! Loved the list. :) -cw

  5. haha nice list!! the gym is definitely a collection of Crazies sometimes.....

    of all things - the Cell phone while working out will always kind of baffle me too...

  6. Great list!!! Thankfully I don't ever have to deal with any of this as I boycott the gym... but every now and then I wonder if LR forgot his deoderant! LOL!

  7. That's too funny! Yep, seen most of them. I've got a girl at my gym that I fondly call "hookup girl". I'm sure you get the picture.

  8. Ahhh, but you forgot creepy old leather skin lady who wears a sports bra inside while on the elliptical. She is always a treat.

  9. Ha! I love it. I go to the gym specifially to judge those people. :o)

  10. Those are the absolute most hilarious descriptions of the people that I also get sooo annoyed with at the gym.

    I must also add the trophy wife to the list. The woman who wears a full face of makeup, hoop earrings, 4 different rings, and a push-up bra for walking on the treadmill.

    Oh yea, saw that one a few times over at my old gym. At least they're entertaining!

  11. OMG, just reading about BO makes me want to puke. I can't stand those. BO gives me a severe head ache!
    Dude, that site is hilarious!!!

  12. I loved the list! I cracked up reading it! so sad but so true! hope you had a great weekend!!!

  13. OMG, totally agree with it all! The one about BO reminds me of a story that happened last week. So. I work at an eye clinic where every patient is like 70 and older. My friend was helping one out of a chair, who totally stunk. We don't hold it against them, by the way. They are old and probably live alone, and we just ignore it. Until my friends hand slipped and ended up in this guy's arm pit. It was wet. Her hand was wet. Under a sniff inspection, her hand failed miserably and I dry-heaved watching this whole thing unfold.

  14. Hi to every single one, it's actually a fastidious for me to visit this site, it includes important Information.

    my web blog - fast weight loss tips



Related Posts with Thumbnails