Woah, Hello There A$$

Who's ready for a three day weekend!!!!!
Guess who's stoked for a three day weekend??!!
Time to Paaaarrrr-ttaaayyyy :)
(or, in my case, time to run a 14 miler!)
((That counts as a party, right?))

Well, you are probably wondering why I am talking about a$$es so early in the morning. It's because I am strangely attracted to butts, for the last couple of times I've been at the gym, I've been noticing some wacky people. Now I am a fairly open minded person and I try very hard not to be judgmental. Esp at the gym, of all places. I mean, hey, at least they are working out, right?

I present to you: Top 5 wacky gym patrons

(Please note that I use the word wacky as a euphemism for "annoying as heck")

(also note, please don't get too offended! )

1) "Let me see that thong".....
I know the gym isn't a place to be concerned about fashion/looks, etc. You're there to work up a sweat. I get it. I wear old t-shirts and mismatching socks to the gym. It's hard enough to even get to the gym. But PLEEEEAAAASSSEEE. If you are gonna wear Skintight spandex, please wear a thong, or at least some seamless underwear! I find it extremely distracting to continue ellipticalling when you bend down to stretch, thrust your a$$ up in my face, and I have nothing to stare at except the expanse of panty lines BULGING out from underneath your skintight shorts. Oh man. I mean, if you're Adrianna Lima or Doutzen Kroes (hello, girl crush!), MAYYYBE you could pull off that look. Every one else, let's try to remember Stacey's tip from What Not to Wear: No visible panty lines! This applies to the gym as well, in my opinion.

2) This isn't the Ritz Carlton lounge pool....
I guess this isn't obvious to some people, but the pool at the GYM, that has LANES, and people doing LAPS in them, is meant for SWIMMING. It's not a place to flaunt your newest skanky bikini find, show off your gigantor expensive sunglasses, dip your toes in the water, and try to use the kickboard without getting your hair wet. Esp when people are waiting to get into a lane to swim. I'm sure the lifeguards at the Ritz would love to drool over your designer bikinis.

3)Deodorant, what's that?
This one's self explanatory. I'm sure we've all encountered the person sweating away on the elliptical. The smell is so toxic it is not humanly safe to step within 6 feet from this person. You are forced to find another elliptical in the oppostite corner of the gym, and drats, this one doesn't come with a TV attachment. Modern technology is amazing. A little underarm care can go a loooooong way. I mean, I'm fine if you like the smell of your own BO and all. If that's what you're into, that's cool. Just don't expect me to partake in your enjoyment. I really don't want to join in on your BO party. If you're gonna be in a public space, please just swipe on some of that Old Spice. Heck, if you don't even want to invest in a whole bottle of deo, you can buy trial sizes at the grocery store for 99 cents. Seriously. Do you really want to be remembered at your gym as "that guy"?

4) Step away from that cell phone
Really? Really? Are you really going to talk on the cell phone on the treadmill/stationary bike/elliptical? Really?

5) That really fit, pretty, strong girl who looks great in her shorts.
Gahhhhh. You make me soooo jealous!!!! lol.

I hope I wasn't too mean! But surely, I'm not the only one who has encountered these wacky people? Or is my gym some sort of mecca for body odor loving, bikini clad cell phone talkers?

So I guess you can tell what I've been doing for the last couple of days: weights and swimming. Both fairly standard, uneventful workouts. I was able to increase the weights I use for some of my workouts, so I am happy that I am getting stronger.

I hope everyone has a GREEEAAATTT weekend filled with running, good company, some rest, and some yummy grub! And if you are in the mood for a good laugh, visit THIS website. It is phenomenal. Trust me. You will not regret it :)

Cheers, everyone!